I think I’ve used this as a journal entry title several times. I really am feeling pretty blah today, though.

I’m not really getting anywhere on my social media detox. I really want to quit some of this stuff and use it a bit less, but then I feel isolated and blah.

I don’t really know what to do. I guess noting that I have a problem is an important step, isn’t it?

One good thing, though. I haven’t had a drink in 43 days. My little “quit that” tracker tells me that I’ve saved approximately $172. That’s awesome!


I’ve been stressing out about food and exercise and everything. I have terrible allergies. It’s tree sex season and I just don’t feel great. Apparently, when you give up an alcohol habit that you were using for anxiety, all of your body neurotransmitters ramp back up, including one that releases histamine. So my allergies are like 20 times worse than normal and it is AWFUL.

But here I am.

I’ve been tracking my phone use with an app called Mirror. So far so good. It’s easy to get around it and shut it down, even though I’m not trying to. It kind of shocking, but not super shocking, how much time I spend on my phone. Right now I’m in the “track” stage before it starts getting all draconian and shit on me. LOL

My latest exercise goal is to go to the gym twice a week to work out, doing strength training. I picked up a program from Steph Gadreau (Harder to Kill), and I’m hopeful to build some serious strength, particularly core strength. Today is going to be day one!

Gotta write something

Okay, so I have to write something today. I don’t know what to say other than I worked yesterday and didn’t really check my social media most of the day. Last night, I spent a lot of time on the phone checking stuff, but at least when I work and am socially engaged, using my brain, etc., I don’t feel like I need to do that stuff. Maybe that is really the ticket for me.

I do remember reading some years ago that some researchers could easily get mice/rats addicted to some hard drug by keeping them in normal cages without their friends. The moment they gave most of those guys access to others like them, in a bigger cage, with more things to do, they mostly rejected the addictive stuff. People are the same, mostly. It makes sense that being with others and doing fun stuff would make you uninterested in the bad stuff.

Social Media Detox

I’m finding lots of lists with great strategies. I think the best approach has been to treat it how I treat alcohol. The original list was alcohol. The alcohol specific things have been crossed out in red, social media specific things are in blue. The overlap is black.


  • It tastes good
  • It is a lot of fun
  • It helps me relax
  • Sometimes it helps my libido
  • It helps me fall asleep
  • It has some (very slightly) modest health benefits (and only for, say, 12% of the population)
  • Where alcohol social media is, friends and fun usually are
  • It keeps me up to date on the news and events that my friends are doing
  • I can send pictures to my family


  • It’s expensive
  • It causes anxiety long term even if it helps me relax short term
  • I may fall asleep quicker, but my sleep is less restful and I often wake in the middle of the night
  • It has many many MANY some small health risks (like death from DUI, high blood pressure, kills your liver, inactivity, obesity, depression from FOMO, etc)
  • It gives me migraines
  • It makes me have to poop a lot more
  • It makes my periods worse
  • It makes me eat more
  • It makes me less present with my family
  • It makes me less connected with my spouse so that I’m less likely to want to use that libido
  • I can’t drive after I’ve been drinking, while using it which means where my friends and fun are, I have to make special accommodations to get home or be stuck where I am, sometimes unsafely
  • I can’t respond to an emergency situation (medical or, say, to help my spouse if his truck breaks down, etc)
  • It’s isolating but cheaper to drink stay at home and use social media than go out
  • It makes me feel guilty
  • When I’m drinking using social media, I don’t want to do responsible things (chores, cooking, work)

Okay, so it’s obvious that social media isn’t anywhere near as bad as alcohol. Whew! But the big ones: anxiety, makes me less present, it’s distracting, isolating, and makes my ADHD way worse.

I hate anxiety. It SUCKS. So how to get past this? Here’s one article…

This first line is AWESOME:

Understand That You’re Being Played

Whoa. Seriously. Social media has been designed to be wicked addictive. If you have an addictive tendency at all (and boy, do I!), then you’re fucked. I think the interesting bit is people who aren’t addicted, who never check Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/Snapchat.

How. Do. They. Do. It.

More from the link…

  1. Implement Rules
  2. Buy an Alarm Clock
  3. Sign Off for a Weekend
  4. Check With Purpose
  5. Be a Tough Editor
  6. Respond Off-Line
  7. Alter Your Settings

Out of all of these, let’s see what I can start with.

I think Implement Rules is a good one. Go from 8 hours a day (seriously, some days it’s probably close to 16 hours…how the fuck did it get this bad?!) to say, 1. Mornings are the worst for me. I get my coffee, Facebook for a few hours, journal, Facebook a little more, then go grab lunch. Then I might run some errands, come home and Facebook, pick up my kid from school, Facebook MORE. Do some small chores (dishes, laundry, meal prep), eat dinner, then more Facebook. Starting tomorrow, I could give myself 1 hour to Facebook in the morning (8:15 to 9:15), journal for 30 minutes, do other stuff until noon. Grab lunch, allow myself to take 20-30 minutes to eat without distraction (OMG), then the next 30 can be social media. After that, no Facebooking until after dinner. Give myself another one hour and that’s it. Be done before 9. Lights out by 10. This is SO DOABLE.

If I can get through tomorrow with that kind of reduced use, I’ll be shocked. LOL

It really is AWFUL, people. I’m extraordinarily addicted and am already freaking out. Maybe I’ll get some exercise in…



Ok, my social media addiction is really starting to give me anxiety. I’ve been online since 8:15. It’s now 11:45. That’s 3.5 hours that I haven’t done anything particularly useful. Let’s see what my activity has been. Scroll through and feel the time waste!










It gives me anxiety just LOOKING at it. So much freaking wasted time.

So what to do about it? I think that will have to be the next post because this is just so massive with all of the pictures.

Mommy bloggers, redux

I just posted about how I wasn’t really into dooce back in the day. I just googled her and this was one of the first things that came up. Thought it was interesting.

Armstrong makes an interesting point, especially in the genre she’s associated with. One complaint about ‘mommyblogging’, in its early days, was that it was too confessional, too loud, insufficiently respectful of children’s privacy. The airing of so much personal material bothered people – but many mothers needed such an outlet.

They needed to be able to talk, in an undisciplined fashion, about the challenges of motherhood, about the work involved in raising kids, with a glaringly honest approach.

“That kind of stuff that doesn’t look good on an Instagram feed,” Armstrong said.

“Back then, we talked about everything, about all of it. We opened it up and we examined it. And I just don’t see that going on anywhere anymore.”

It’s true. A quick perusal of most of the more successful parenting blogs will reveal beautiful homes stocked with artisanal toys and spotless outfits.

That obsessiveness about everything in their lives is what made the mommy bloggers both so annoying and so irresistible. I could never go there. I had a blog. I posted a ton on it. I followed a parenting blog aggregator (that also had it’s own content), called Blogging Baby. It was awesome, but then it became huge and my favorites stopped posting and I stopped following. But the bloggers who were pretty prolific there (Stefania, Melissa, Heather, Sweet Juniper, Sarah Gilbert) have all become pretty prolific elsewhere, so it was a great jumping off point for them all. But, interestingly enough, most of the famous ones got divorced (actually, all of them except for Sweet Juniper) Was it because they were all women who became successful and that sudden fame broke their lives apart even though they were “just” stay at home moms? Was it because of the exposure? The stress and intrusiveness of blogging about your family and children? Because those were the only ones who became successful…the ones who opened all doors to their lives and showed us beautiful pictures of their kids. I don’t know. It’s crazy, though.

Also, holy fucking shit. I’m still on the damned computer. *sigh*

Trying different stuff

I spent a lot of time social media-ing yesterday. Not happy about that. This morning, I didn’t spend so much time on social media, but I did spend a lot of time on the internet, in general.

I was reading up on a bunch of old “mommy bloggers” I used to follow back in the day. I was a huge fan of a blog called Suburban Bliss. Another blog I followed, dooce, is still going.

Melissa Summers of Suburban Bliss moved to Instagram at some point, and her website got snatched up by someone trying to capitalize on the name, so she doesn’t blog anymore. She does post on Instagram and it’s engaging and I like it, so I spent at least an hour looking at her photos and reading about her. Kind of cool to see pics of her kids who were so little at one point and one is now in college. Blows my mind.

Heather Armstrong of dooce was never one of my favorites, but I would binge read her blog every now and then when another blogger would post about it. I think my big problem with her was how obsessive she seemed to be about most things. Exercise. Diet. Parenting. Decorating. Marriage. Divorce. Travel. Marathons. Outfits. Pets. Everything was so intense for her, and I just didn’t relate to that. Melissa was obsessive about her mental health, but somehow that came across more as endearing to me, less “I have to be perfect”, more “I’m just trying to survive”. Heather’s quest for perfection is what made her so interesting but also so polarizing, I think. In reading her blog this morning, I realized that even the “pathologically trying to be perfect” folks are fucked up. I can see myself in her, just as I see myself in Melissa. I guess the takeaway is that we’re all just human, folks. My interest is piqued that she is now podcasting…I guess podcasts are the new blog, eh?

It was a delightful bit of internet research this morning. I don’t regret it, because it’s Saturday morning and we’re just hanging out anyway. Come later tonight, I’m going to be all “I can’t believe I wasted that time”, though. That and all of the social media between when I was done with reading up on the bloggers and trying to compose this post. Edit: I’m STILL ARGUING ON THE INTERNET. MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STAHHHHHHHPPPP!!!

Awareness is part of the problem right?

One of the things I’m hoping to try is a combo of L-tyrosine, B-vitamins, and fish oil. I already take B vitamins most days, and about half of the days I take fish oil. The tyrosine is new. Supposedly, it helps your thyroid work better (weight loss, I’ll take it!). But it also is supposedly a precursor to dopamine. Dopamine is that great focus neurotransmitter, right? So supposedly more tyrosine = more dopamine = less trying to find interesting stuff to keep my focus. Soooo…who knows?






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I kicked ass! My only real goal was to make journaling a solid habit and…here we are.

The 6th was actually posted on the day of, but I posted from my phone and the calendar was wonky as a result, so it registered on the day after.

A few of the days I missed in the last couple of weeks I actually “mentally journaled” from bed. I think the only day I really missed without registering anything on the matter was the 28th. Just didn’t get it in because I was brain dead.

I am solidly stoked!

Now that I have this journaling thing down, I think it’s time to start limiting my social media consumption. I was hoping to make February my month for tweaking my diet and losing some serious weight, but just giving up wine in January has helped me drop almost ten pounds. I think if I stay off the sauce and keep my carb intake low, while really focusing on nutrition…it will come off slowly. Maybe that’s not what I want, but it’s the best thing for me. Right?

Yay for good things!


I said I was back but I forgot to hit “publish” until this morning. Major fail.


So here I am. It’s January 30. I think I kept 7 pounds off this month, which is pretty good. I heard back from the 23andme people on my diet plan (over two weeks later after the start of the “diet”) and they said the diet intervention was just “guidelines”. So I’m just going to eat paleo. I’ll still try to keep the carbs down, but not going to eat grains unless I have a headache or feel like I need some brown rice or beans. I can lose weight that way. It’s been hard since I’ve been wanting to eat snack chips and cheese puffs that my kid has laying around everywhere.

Other than feeling like I’m not quite feeling 100% (I have aches and pains and anxiety since quitting my wine), I think I’m doing okay. Some days are better than others.

I have one more day in January, then it’s off to February, where my focus is cutting back on electronics and trying to just be more like I was before the iPhone and Facebook. You know, where I read books, or watched TV, or exercised regularly because I had “free time”? Yeah…


Today’s my birthday, and it was a good one! I had fun, was surrounded by friends and went to dinner with my family. Very good day.

But now I’m back and realize that I have 2-ish days left on a dietbet that I haven’t lost enough weight on and it’s pissing me off. This is the second one I’ve done and haven’t lost quite enough. About a week ago, I was one pound short of my goal. Since then, I’ve been eating too many carbs (and totally not sticking to my 23andme study, either). Hopefully, my updating of that study will reflect that. Dang!

SOOOO…tomorrow it’s all salad and protein and same for Monday. Man, what a bummer. Hope I can get my weight to just below the cut off so I can get some momentum to keep going. I know this wasn’t my goal for January, but it feels like it was. Blah!

Oh well, at least I’m journaling!