OMG, I’m tired of easily offended people!
For the Myers Briggs fans, I’m an ENTP, so I love to argue and am pretty much the least likely person to get offended if I feel someone is presenting a great argument. The moment you start attacking me (e.g. not arguing about a topic anymore, just attacking me), then I get offended. I love having great discussions and just getting into it with people who are like-minded.
There are two people in my Facebook list who I’m friends with who are not like me AT ALL in that regard.
One is a former BFF who I have distanced myself from because she’s kind of toxic. I feel like when we would go hang out, I’d have to put on my kid gloves and not be authentically honest with her. It just was no longer that comfortable “You get me!” relationship and more of a “How can I keep her entertained without offending her” relationship. It was exhausting. Whenever I’d post something on her wall that she didn’t agree with, instead of engaging, she’d write “Okay.” And now that I don’t engage with her anymore, but still stupidly read her interactions with her other “friends”, I can tell shit’s about to go down when she starts typing “Okay.” It means she’s angry, she’s pissed, and she totally doesn’t agree with what you’re saying. But that doesn’t come out so great in the nuance-less written world. If you were arguing in person it would be like, “Okay, she’s pissed…I’m gonna go now”. Man, it cracks me up just reading that…but it’s painful because she’s a bitch about it. I wish I could stop being her “friend”, but I have reasons.
The other is a current friend who is in my extended friends group. We have many close friends in common. I feel way better about my relationship with her, but still kind of have to be careful about how I interact sometimes. Every now and then, there will be a public post on Facebook from, say, NPR or the NY Times or whatever. If it has anything to do with feminism or women’s rights, she’ll seek out the random dudes in the comments section and just lay into them. Not even remotely trying to have a good discussion but bullying and abusing them just for existing. She cannot turn it off. It just spews from her. It’s pretty awful.
For both of these women, I know they’ve both been victimized in the past. They are both rape survivors. They are both creatives. They both have a history of having been diagnosed with various mental disorders. I think one is bipolar, and the other is probably as well though hangs out in the severe clinical depression side of things. They both have these manic episodes where they just kind of go nuts about ideas or people. They’re both smart and have moments of wonderfulness. But hoooooooo boy…don’t get on their bad side.
So…what to do. I really don’t know. I really like the latter and just tend to compartmentalize my interactions with her so I can tolerate her. The former has lied to and hurt me in the past, so I’m just leaving her at arm’s length. I’m not going to beat myself up over being her friend. I try to be a positive force in her life, but I just can’t interact with her that much anymore. It’s exhausting and hate the way I feel after dealing with her these days.
It’s pretty rare for me to find a friend who is not only somewhat extroverted but also loves to get into great discussions and be offensive and not get offended. One of my best friends in that regard moved to California this week. She and I are both friends with the second example above. And she has a good friend she’s trying to distance herself from who is almost exactly like my first friend example. We’re so similar, but she’s judgy and organized (ENTJ), and I’m a arm-wavy perceiver (I love Myers Briggs…LOL).
In other news (boy, I sure am in a writing mood…) the scale kind of went up this morning. it’s the day after my period ended and I even worked out a couple of days ago, so I have no idea why. Even though the 23andme people want me to eat grains, I think I’m going to go off and just do potatoes. I mean, overall, I’m still lower than I started at the beginning of January, but it’s making me grumpy that I haven’t lost more weight. But hey, you know, I’m not drinking, I’m journaling every day, I’m getting exercise, I’m focusing on nutrition…overall, I’m kicking ass! I need to remember that! And I’m successfully avoiding the use of the word “should”! HAHA!