I am not happy with my current level of weight loss. I am part of a three month health coaching group that includes checking in, changing habits, and getting more active. I feel like, “Ok, I spent money paying a health coach to help me get real with this stuff and I haven’t lost any weight.” Grumble grumble.
This morning, I realized two things.
- I have dramatically changed my behavior. I am meal planning every week and it’s working out really well because I’m eating better and I’m saving money. I also quit drinking every single night. It was not a healthy habit and it was probably, long term, really bad for me. It was reliably screwing up my gut and making me anxious. It was something that really needed to go. And go, for the most part, it has. I still drank last weekend on my anniversary and this weekend because I had a ton of anxiety (thanks, girl parts!). Obviously, drinking doesn’t help my anxiety long term, but in the short term, it’s awesome! Changing my habits is really hard, but this has, overall, been a good shift. To really get this to stick, I think I need to focus hard on connecting with people. I don’t get out of the house enough so that’s hard to do, but I’m hoping I either get full-time employment soon or go back to substitute teaching in the fall.
- Throwing money at a problem is not a solution. That’s why the diet industry is such a profitable enterprise. I can’t get someone else to just fix me, when the work is very much my job. The good thing about my health coach, though, is that she is amazing and I do feel that she is good at getting me motivated to change my life. But ultimately, it is my job to do the work, not her. That’s hard to hear. But I know it’s true. I’ve done Weight Watchers twice and both times, I did great for a week and then just maintained.
Minor things I can tell about this work actually working: I’m motivated to get more organized, without feeling ashamed of it; I feel like I need to confront, somehow, a friend who has done me wrong, instead of holding that pain all of the time; I’m reading more (but I keep getting sucked away from books for shiny things); I’m spending more time outside amongst my plants; I’m exercising more.
Anyway, this deep diving stuff is working, sort of. I do have my Radiolab strategy, though, of putting down $100 bucks to go toward my favorite charity, starting today. If I don’t stick to my diet plans (grain-free, but I can still do beans and dairy), I have to donate money to a charity or organization I abhor: The Cheeto reelection campaign (not going to say our current president’s name, because it’s kind of like saying Voldemort, and I really don’t want the bots coming to find me), which makes me nauseous. LOL
I haven’t eaten any grains today, and I’m okay with that. Gonna go get some grilled fish and french fries. Have a check to deposit, a ballot to drop off (happy election day for my area), and a ton of laundry and cleaning to do before my parents get here tomorrow night. It’s going to be a hot week and I want to stay on top of it.